My life as a country song:

Her "Be-All's" Ladies Would

I drink Top shelf bourbon and piss water beer
I love lady wood but that don't make me queer
When the misses is gone or I'm out on sales calls
I find sexy women and suck on their balls

I don't need "no homo" and I won't be ashamed
but if you call her a him well then we'll have to throw
say shemale or tranny and i'll break your nose
then after i thump you she'll pound all your holes

profess ignorance; self-hating man
a sad homophobe you project your truth
me i'm in love but you can't understand
so tap some more feet underneath your booth

no it's not gay I still qualify straight
(OK maybe straight-"ish" or hetero-'flex')
you're dressed in leather and servicing 8
in truck stops, bookstores, & theaters late

my goddess is trans
100% definitely not a man
when i have her cake I wanna eat it too
i don't bottom that often, but when I do
know my goddess is trans
and she's hung bigger than you

***much love ladies :)